poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Baby boy

Yesterday was a baby day.
A baby day, not like I have one--because my three babygirls are tween/teen growing babies...but a day I got to HOLD babies.

Two boy babies, but it actually started with a semi-funny baby concept.

I was walking out of my area when a pregnant mom of two little girls walked up to me.  We did the typical how-are-yous, when I asked how she was feeling and how beautiful she looked.  She told me she felt how she thought she should feel, which I think may have meant INVADED because at a certain point, I know I felt that way.  Anyhow she then said, 
"So did I tell you I'm having another girl..."
And we laughed like we belonged some great girl-birthing club...but then she told me a friend just told her :) that they read some women may have enzymes in their uterus that kill off the male sperm...AND boy did we laugh.  Sorry men. No offense.  But it was a funny moment, that continued with me hold two boy babies afterwards...I'm sure there's a cosmic sign there if I meditate long enough on it.

Minutes after another mom walks up to me and starts chatting.  Her oldest boy in school, middle girl on computer, babyboy in her arms lunging to me...Well--whats a girl to do, but give some baby loving. :))

Because I do love babies.
They come natural, but thats beside the point.

We stood there and talked.  She is an absolutely stunning woman who is trying to figure out if she's done having babies.  She's not in my opinion, but her husband is...and all along this talking, I'm loving this baby moment I'm getting--because my baby will be 11 soon.

And then I go home for my lunch to discover my friends sister is visiting with her two boys--one 3, the other 6 mo.  Aaahhhh...more loving.

And I felt this overwhelming gratitude to have these few moments with these babysouls--but also a gratitude to not have the longing of being pregnant.  I love/d being pregnant, I love the nursing...but it took me years to get over the true clock-ticking-whacha-gonna-do-with-the-rest-of-your-life-if-your-not-prego/littlebabyfied...that now, I'm grateful for where I am.

I miss those days of chaos and youth, but feel great at 38 I'm young enough to enjoy where I am too...able to love on babies and know it's all good:)

7 comments:

ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

you need to get fixed. just sayin'.

Jewels said...

I know that feeling...well not of being pregnant or having kids...but of loving holding babies. There is nothing like a little baby. I love the smell in their neck folds...their tiny grasping hands, their gurgling and gassy smiles. They are absolutely amazing little angels.

I can see how they are addictive. For me half the joy is giving them back and going home to a restful night of sleep. :-) But I can see where you are coming from.

Not Emily said...

Claire--I'm fixed in my own way...

And Jewels--yes it is a feeling..and I will say after so many years of not sleeping--I do enjoy an entire nights sleep again. Of course that may change when dating starts to happen--but I'm hoping that'll be another 10 years or so..haha..thanks!!

The Boy said...

This made me smile so much...not having children of my own,but just having visited my 4 year old niece and remembering what it was like to hold her as a little bundle.

Enjoy where you are now :) x

Not Emily said...

Yes--enjoy:) Thanks

hiphophippie.com said...

This is really awesome and that pic is amazing. I'm not a big kid person, but I LOVE me some babies. They are just ridiculously amazing. I wanna squeeze them all!

bitethebedbugs said...

I'm in the same place. Old enough to know I don't want anymore, young enough to remember how awesomely awesome babies can be. There is one at my twins' daycare that is positively edible. Every time I see her I want to take a bite out of her thigh. And she toddles up to me. Good lord, I just scoop her up and consider putting her in my tote bag and sneaking her out of there.

"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild
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