poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Friday, November 25, 2011

It seemed this year more people were cheerier about thanksgiving.
Maybe more people were ready for a break from work.
Maybe more people are ready to be done of this year, move onto the holidays and
start all over next year.

Or maybe it's just me.  I just genuinely felt that when I wished someone Happy Thanksgiving, they
happily said it back.
Unlike wishing someone Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas.
Those words often remind people of what isn't done in their household, before the final blow.
At least in my opinion.

This year, I've decided I'm not going to worry as much about what I get my girls.
We started by doing a little Black Friday shopping.
I hadn't planned on it.
Honestly, I despise shopping--alot of WANT for not much NEED.
But, my Austin, Tx cousins were in town and they always try to do something special for my girls.
The special this year: Black Friday shopping at 6am.
We opted out of the midnight shopping.
We like to sleep too much and I think it's personally wrong to not give employees an entire day off.

So--off we went to Department stores before the sun was up.
I bought things the girls picked up and put down, so they honestly don't know what I bought for them.
Plus, we did some online shopping too.  I still have plenty to do--oh with two dec. birthdays coming up...
but I do feel thankful for my girls wanting me to go shopping with them...
and enjoying family time together.

Then tonight--gonna meet up for a drink because one of my best friends in town.  She lives in Canada most
of the time these days...so always great to spend time with her. xoxo

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Today I thought about timing and relationships.
As much as I think we may be attracted to someone or something,
the timing needs to work for the situation.
If the timings off, then generally--the relationship/situation will fail.

I have spent most of my life in my hometown.
I've attempted through the years to somehow escape this fate,
but the timing has never worked and thankfully, most days,
here I am.

I don't have regrets over any men I dated or even had bad relationships with,
but I do have a certain laizzez-faire sadness over a few--the few that
the timing just wasn't right.  Maybe everything else in the situation was
pretty right, but the timing itself challenged the reality.

What's thought provoking to me though is the similiarities in varying situations.
It gives me hope and wonder in those ideas.
In the big picture.
That eventually the puzzle will fit.
And I will stop trying so hard.
To simply,
be.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Catching up

Wow. Not that life's been that exciting, but I hardly know where to start since I've been on a slight time off with my blogging. 

I suppose it's easiest to start with the present: I'm officially car shopping.
Some people might find that exciting and I'm really really trying, but honestly all it does
is make me cringe and feel heavy footed.

Since my dissolution, I have basically been without a vehicle.  I have a Eurovan creating a lovely
rusty garden behind my garage, but it's been sitting for almost 2 years. I'd love to have it fixed,
but magical VW mechanics aren't anywhere to be found right now.  I have faith in it--but I'm not
putting it out there as much as I should.

So- that leaves me with the now.  My parents let me borrow their van a few years ago.
Yes, years. After my van died.  For a long time, I'd borrow--and return.  It got to the point my
mom just told me, if I need it --I'll let you know.  Still, I didn't drive alot--but with the girls
busy schedule, I drive more than I ever have.

Then a few weeks ago I mentioned to my dad about some lights coming on and the transmission
acting odd.  He took it in and SHABAM--the end of the van, but my lucky mom got herself a cute
new Jeep. 

And then there's me.
At first I felt truly down.
I remembered my own van not being maintained even with asking and pleading.
I felt what can only be resentment, that I must 'conform' somehow to own a car.
Own.
A.
Car.

I never have.

So--I'm trying to be happy.
And not too picky.
For someone who's never owned a car you'd think I'd be easy-peasy, but no--I've got some standards in
my mind that may or may not serve me.

So much more--but it may have to wait till tomorrow.
OM xo

"What is Spiritual Practice?" POWERFUL and THOUGHT-PROVOKING

"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild
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