poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

With wheels

Well, I am the proud owner of a new car...at least new to me.
It was one of those moments, outside of the fact of my last post, that I just "knew" this car was for me.
The woman was the 2nd owner--took great care of it and drove/drives great! 
So--there you go...I'm finally with wheels again, but did it all by myself--for the first time ever.

I just have never cared about buying a car.  I never saved up for a car, unlike my brother who started saving at 14.  I saved up for bikes--but wheels...hmmm. Crazy.
I always wanted my license, but just never had the desire to actually go that next step.
I suppose I was stuck at that place, because my family has always been very willing to share their time
and vehicles with me too.  And every time I would talk about buying a car, they'd be like:
Oh just drive this until....

And so I did.

But, I feel good about this.
About this next step into adulthood--even if I'm 20 years late.  I know my family was only trying to take care of me and helping me monitarily, but at a certain point--you just gotta suck it up and know what you need/want and do it.

So--there I am.
Here I am
So Ham.
Om.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Crossing my fingers

This morning I am supposed to go look at a car.  Well, a Honda Pilot.
It's 2004--so old enough with plenty of miles, I can pretty much afford it.
Honestly, at this point--as long as it runs--I feel open to buying it today.
On the spot.
I've realized, through all my wanting of not needing a car--in all reality, I do.

I don't need it in the way someone who commutes everyday,
but in the way of getting my girls easily somewhere and not telling everyone
my whereabouts.
That's been the most annoying thing at this point--I'm not hiding where I'm going,
but I feel 16--asking for someone to take me to point A and not knowing
if I'll get to point B.
Ug.

So--hopefully--it all goes well.
Om. xoxo

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

scrapyard man

i fell in love with
the scrapyard man
running around
walking on my hands

i bellowed your song
from the souls of my shoes
letting go of
housewife blues

i fell in love with
the scrapyard man
choosing to believe
in alternate views

with your hand around
my waist
and a bow in my hair
i stared at the ice cream
attempting to share
what not to say
to a woman who wears
the ring
of another

with your front to my back
and silent words in my ears
i fell in love with
the scapyard man
who's brought me to tears

sharing a dance
jumping to run
your shotgun love
brought me back home.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

achey abundance

walking home in an achey coat
i thought about the hair
left in the bathroom sink
early in the AM


placing in abundance
gratitude
placing out annoying
blahness


glad to have hair
kids with hair
brushes to brush our hair
healthy coloring hair


wondering on an achey couch
how life looks
if we turn it outside in
inside
out

Monday, December 12, 2011

Days of my life

So I'm home sick today.
It's really to bad that sick days are wasted on being sick, because
I'd much rather be running around in the cold sunshine and making
jewelry with a yoga break.
But--instead, I'm listening to a lot of bad TV during my rest.

Bad TV.
Well--I don't know if it's bad, but not my typical.
I spent the morning watching comedies and then found myself turning to
Days of Our Lives at 1pm.


Probably like many my age, I grew up watching soap operas with my mom.
I have memories linked to Days...Bo & Hopes wedding song, watching
Roman return when I was at WSU, plus many more that mean nothing in my 
actual life.
So today, as I'm laying on the couch trying to make myself fall asleep--I turned on Days--realizing that these SAME people, voices--are easy to listen to.  I know the story.
They live. They die. They come back with more drama.  It's a simplicity defined.


And then...I fell asleep.
With a needed rest, I woke up realizing it was ok to cancel yoga class tonight.
Sick is sick and I don't need to pass this on.  I'm not dying sick, just enough
that I know I'm blah and I want to try not to get sick because Santa
comes to the library this week to entertain 100 kids.


Ciao.

Friday, December 02, 2011

What does peace look like?

Stringing peace cranes
648 counting
behind my desk

he asked what i was doing

without chance i explained
the story

in remembrance of 9/11

offering hope
love
in place of misguided anger

without chance he explained
the story
of his migrant life
here

working the turkey kill room
because his brother was murdered a month ago
and now he's in customer service
with hope
love

moving forward

looking like peace
"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild
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