poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Never Take Candy from a Stranger or Maybe You Should...

'Never take candy from strangers'
Most of us have been taught that rule at some point.
And while I agree 99%, because I don't want my own children jumping for joy when a man in a creepy van rides up beside them offering them mouth watering candy--I realized yesterday--sometimes it's ok to take candy from the unknown.

I say that because I work with the public.  I'm a librarian by day--and two nights a week.  I come into contact with a lot of people.  Some good...some not so good--but that's a whole 'nother blog--but back to candy. 

There's a man who I see every few weeks at work.
I noticed him years ago because that's what I do--but also because he's a nice looking older man.  He generally buys a few used books, reads the paper and off he goes.

In the past year he offered me a butterscotch hard cardy--yes that may be an indicator of his age--and I happily accepted this somewhat random act of kindess.  (I don't know how much I like that saying, but there is complete truth to the phrase)
And since the butterscotch, I've gotten mints, strawberry hard candys and fruity type mint lifesavers.  And it makes me happy.

Yesterday he was in, bought his few booksale items-read the paper and before he left gave me lifesavers and strawberry hard candy. 

I'll be honest--I do have this moment right before I pop the first one in my mouth that there could be this irrational possibility I'm being drugged or poisoned--but then I realize it's the voice of never taking candy from strangers. 

But this stranger has become a friendly face, offering trust, a sweet smile and a simple moment of joy in crazy moments.

Friday, July 16, 2010

To the berries

I knew my evening would start great once I read Hiphophippie's post .... a drink made of blackberries and mint...two things I have growing in my own backyard.

I started growing blackberries years ago when my family would be called "intact" by some...When my girls were younger I did ALOT more things that are actually who I am.  I grew a small garden, planted a blackberry push, lots of herbs and canned my tomatoes, which of course my grandma taught me to do.  I tried my best to do things as natural as possible.  Sometimes I wonder how I did it with 3 small girls 3 1/2 years apart.  But--I did and kinda reveled in it.  Honestly--it was the most exhausting wonderful period of my ALMOST 38 YEARS.

Now, years later my girls spend alot of their weekends with their dad--who also tries to keep it as natural as possible.  I'm glad we planted this blackberry bush...the one bringing me such happy memories (or is it the bourbon)  and that this home maintains.  I'm fortunate I've got this kick ass porch--where when it's stankin and my house is without central air , I can sit and relax.  Thanks to my BFF Tammie and other great porch friends.  And tonight...that's where I sit drinking my blackberry delight:) 

Friday, July 09, 2010

Free-Spirit...TADA!!

Free-spirited.
That could be one word to describe me.  I don't like words to box in people and would never really call myself that, but I have been referred to be that and understand why people see me in that word.

I truly feel the joy in seeing myself as a free-spirit, but find that same term has been used against me in the past.  I'm sure there's been more than 3 times I've dealt with this fact, but I've heard it lately--and when you hear something more than once--whatever it is, I do think some great force is saying HEY PAY ATTENTION!!

So my 3 free-spirited comments lately...

1st--I called myself a free-spirit.  I was in a job interview where I was asked to describe myself as an alliteration. (Yes--this was an actual interview question)  The first word that pops out of my mouth--FREE SPIRIT.  Everyone around this panel interview nods in sweet agreement.  Living in a small town where I am kinda visual, these folks know me and understood this word placed on me.

I did not get the job.
I don't think it has anything to do with being free spirited, but I did use the word and it opened up this can of gummyworms in my head.

2nd..my BD and I were talking about various other partners.  I said I would get jealous (I can't recall what it was actually about) and he said he was surprised with my free-spirit attitude.  Slight manipulation.


3rd..my mom and I were in the car having a conversation about my brother and I with our kids.  Mom told me he thought I was too free spirited with my girls.  I actually don't think my brother said those exact words, but my moms thought on what he would say on our differences.  My mom went on to say she thought my girls will be better off learning who they are.

So...this leads me to now.

Why is it I feel being free-spirited is suddenly looked at as some horrible infection?

Just because I am free-spirited doesn't mean I don't know boundaries and have feelings of jealousy (at times but not often).  It doesn't mean I am not aware of how to handle myself in the work place or my children don't have rules to follow.  On the contrary I would say my free-spiritedness has allowed different rules to follow for my girls individually and know boundaries exist for a reason.

Is it people are so afraid of knowing who they are that my "something" freaks them out at times?  Is it the times of ultra-conservative fear flooding our subconscience?

I don't know.
I do know I am proud of this word though.
Whatever it may mean to the general public.

Peace.
Love.
Happiness.

Me.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

To the clothesline!

I'm feeling pretty joyous today...could be the beautiful warm July air, walking my dog, eating lunch with my boy--amazing last night OMG's wrapped around sheets or it could be:

a CLOTHESLINE!!

I've got my Grandma's clotheline in place,
not incognito
but
in my backyard raring to go!!

I grew up with my mom using a clothesline and I can pretty well say-- I didn't like it.
I didn't like my jeans being crispy-
I didn't like my towels being crunchy-
I didn't like my shirts being unshapely (though it was the 80's so how this mattered, I'm not so sure--but it did)-
And then I grew up.

My former and I bought my house...right next door to my Grandma.
And while I never imagined living next door to this amazing woman, I can't think of another way it could have been.

My Grandma had her clothesline set up in her backyard and when we moved it I was free to use it whenever I wanted.
I quickly found it to be the perfect way to be in the moment
little girls playing tent
babies laying sunward

saving money
dry baby dry
air baby air
swoosh swoosh swoosh

and another way to learn about my Grandma's life.  She often would come outside, sit in her backyard chair, beginning my day the way it should've been...simple.  The stories I heard through the years through household work... 

Then last year my Grandma passed away.
I used her clothesline till my parents sold her house.
Then the folks who bought it knew they'd never use it
wanting to build a backpatio...so they asked if I wanted it.

OF COURSE!

I now think it seems silly I didn't get it before the house was sold, but sadness doesn't always let the brain think correctly.

So...today I raise my glass to my clothesline,
passed down...thank you Grandma.
"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild
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