Grief

I stayed home today.  I woke up and felt dread, overwhelming blahness...and knew that
if I walked into the building, I'd spend the day trying not to cry.
I've never taken a true mental health day.
Somehow I've gotten physically sick to compensate for my emotional state.
I'm sure I'm not the only one.

The strange thing about staying home is that I'm dredging up old feelings that I don't
need to attend to.  Though....I've realized through thinking about these old issues, that
those where the times I should have stayed home. Why have I not taken time to grieve
in my life?

My reaction is to keep on going...and I don't think that's always a bad thing.
I can't stay home for every little thing, but why can't I have stayed home when truly,
there were real reasons to just 'be.'  To sit. To write. To listen. To be.

So, today--I honor my grief, without attaching to it--without it dragging me down--but
to feel it, live it, and let it go.

Love. Om.