poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Friday, December 24, 2010

To all the Santa's

Reading a post over at Ramblings of an Emotional Idiot by Jess about whether to tell kids if Santa is real or not, brought about my own Santa related memories.

I don't ever remember believing in Santa.
I think I had it figured out between 4 and 5 years old.
I half recall seeing my parents put gifts under the tree in a multicolored-lit room and whether that memory is true or not--I know that is my earliest memory of Christmas and my own Santa-parents.
And if I wasn't 100% positive of Santa's aliveness or not, when new neighbors moved at 5 years old and the oldest brother took me down the street, behind a bush and questioned me:

Do you believe in Santa?
Do you know who Santa is?  Real Santa?
 Well.... my Mom and Dad? (Really I was going out on a limb here but he kinda led me there because in reality...who else could've have it been?)

And then he continued to tell me his little 4 year old sister, who became my BFF, didn't know and I better not tell her.  Or else?  Or else I would have had to deal with him and he was protecting his little sister. 

End of any Santa disbelief or belief.

Fast forward 20 plus years to my own daughters.
My oldest started asking whether Santa was real when she was about 4 years old.
My answer was "Well what do you think?" which generally led to some sweet conversation.
Then one snow-filled-almost-Christmas-time evening, we were going through our
"What do you think?" When she told me (more or less):
I think that Santa dresses up in normal clothes so that when he goes shopping no one
recognizes him..like he's just a regular person, but then he goes back and becomes Santa.

 I knew we were honing in on the end.
Within days she started linking the tooth fairy and the easter bunny and anything else fantastical together.
She got it.
And honestly I was thankful.
I could now live up the role of Santa without feeling like I was lying to her. 
Her sisters may not have ever truly believed because when the oldest sister knows..why not share the love? ... but I was less concerned over the long-term effects of knowing or not knowing, because it was all ok. 

Sadly funny and alittle ironic to the 5 year old left in me...during this time was the height of play-dates and acquintence moms.  Santa was the kind of topic that these moms liked to talk about...what an easy way to judge a parent, whether their child knew about Santa or not...when I had a mom tell me, because I non-guiltily admitted my girls all-knowing-ability, that my girls better not tell her kids.  Just like I better not tell my BFF so many years ago.

So much less cute though coming from a bully mom, rather than a big brother.

Merry Christmas to all the Santa's xoxxo

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"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild

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