poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Don't be mean to Grannie



I remembered very clearly why I may always hate Christmas shopping last night.
Was it the bumper-to-bumper carts sliding in front of me, trying to find the best deal?
Was it the woman talking extremely loud on her cell?
Was it the man wandering the aisles, avoiding his shopping talking on his cell?
Was it the rugs strung out in the middle of a narrow aisle,
not allowing me to take a short cut to get away from all the people???

No.

All those reasons, though excrutiating, were the reason why I left
that store to opt for easy Christmas shopping...
stocking shopping at the next-door-dollar-store.

And which is exactly where I thought I might have to yell at someone if they didn't
stop yelling at their
GRANDMA.

Excuse me.
Yelling at your grandmother is hardly allowed.  In my case, it would have
NEVER even be thought of and I can't imagine the consciousness of it...
That said,  I'm sure there's some grandma out there that is just as mean and rotten as
this guy was...but clearly--this grandma was not one of them.

I'm in the craft aisle, attempting to find some marker or paper product my girls don't own, when
I hear "F**k" come from the next aisle.
Not thinking much of it, because it is Christmas and my best friends have sailor mouths, I go back to my happy-go-lucky-world when I heard the sister (I can only assume) tell him to keep his voice down because they're in public.
Of course, what the F**k does he care...he'll raise his voice if he wants to.
In pops Grandma's voice..and something about the time.
He insists he was home.
The sister half-hardily tries to stick up for him (because obviously he was lying)...
when he starts yelling at his grandma that she's a F**king liar..
over
and
over
again...

Until I thought if he didn't stop, I was turning the corner and giving him a good
talking to...or getting the store manager or the biggest man I could find.

But he did stop.
And I heard her say, "If you don't like the rules, then move out."
Amen.

The end.
I did turn the corner soon after..and she was the sweetest looking OLD grandma.
I didn't know--maybe she was a young 55 year old grandma raising her grandkids...
but NO...
an old one.

And then, as I continue looking for useless stocking stuffers--I SEE people.
Not through my usual rose colored Christmas glasses,
but clear lens all-the-way...not the visual I care to live.

I thought--this is why I hate Christmas shopping--
because you see the shadows of people I try to avoid.
No TV news.
No drama.
Actually hardly an TV at all.
But when you're face to face...or aisle to aisle with guys who are mean to their grannies,
well then...Christmas shopping isn't that much fun at all.
Who knows...maybe he didn't get enough hugs as a kid.
So for him...I hope he gets lots of hugs for christmas--no shopping required.

2 comments:

The Boy said...

I have to say that this year my saviour has been internet shopping. City centres have been so crowded that it is impossible to get anywhere, but I hope that you are all ready now....or Santa is. Hope you all have a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year!x

Not Emily said...

you really are genius--i can't understand why i won't just give in to shopping online completely. it's SO MUCH EASIER! Santa is almost ready, but keeps forgetting wrapping paper!:)) but hey, i've got a day left lol.. Merry Christmas to you also :) xo

"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild
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