As I left for work this afternoon I watched the neighborlady get her husband ready to get into the car.
He had a stroke a few years ago. I didn't really know them. I still don't KNOW know them, but can have pleasant neighbor conversation. He has struggled with walking and for a few years has only used a wheelchair. On occasion I see a PT working with him, teaching him how to use his walker, but for his wife I'm sure the wheelchair works the best.
And as I glanced their direction the word INDEPENDANCE came to mind. We want it. We teach it. We hope our children are capable of taking care of themselves...
Then I thought of the newest neighbors with young kids and her vacuuming her van.
INDEPENDANCE from kids for the moment.
INDEPENDANCE--what does that really mean though? For the stroke-man, I'm sure it is simple living. Walking. Eating. Making simple life decisions. I'm sure the wife hopes for it, but has accepted it is most likely not attainable. And is it different for a man than a woman? I do think independance is different between the sexes.
For the mom, it could be time alone--I know for me it is wanting my girls to be able to take care of themselves incase I die at any moment.
Ok--alittle dramatic, but true.
When the girls were little, that was a fear--death with small babies at home and who would find them? Us? How long would it take?
Now that they're older, it's simply wanting them to know who they are--be true to themselves.
Be able to do laundry.
Get themselves ready, brushing teeth--oh sigh, --and most days, I feel pretty great about those things.
Other days I wonder where I've gone wrong, but we all have those days.
And then I want them to know that through their independance--they also need to connect, because that's what keeps us growing and going.
The people waiting on them at the grocery store.
The folks on the bike trail.
"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild
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