The first thing August and Liam noticed was the smell. They said this tiny waiting room
Just minutes before, as we pulled to the front of the building, Liam asked if this was a Dr. for poor people. I told him, "I don't know--but most people here don't have insurance," which was very true. I didn't know, at least at that moment--but as we walked in, I quickly realized it was a strong possibility. As for calling us poor, I don't want my children to ever call our family that--because that is a name placed on our situation, but more it is a state of mind. If you think of yourself as poor--then you will be...and we are not poor in any way, other than not having enough money for insurance, savings, better food.... Ironic.
So as we walked in, the kids sat down and I signed us in--I felt a
When I was 24 I had my oldest, August. I was uninsured and single for abit. Without insurance I had to use free-clinics and when we did have insurance,
Liam sat down next to the moss-lined fish tank, while August and I sat diagonal from him. I held her hand and knew I was on the verge of crying. Trying to keep it contained, she asked why we were here and why we just couldn't go to their other office, I teared up and said, "Well when Daddy gets insurance we can go back to your other office." And that was ok for her. Liam, on the other hand, noticed my eyes immediately and mouthed, "Are you crying?" I mouthed back, "It's ok" and gave him a smile. His empathy is amazing.
There was really no way getting away from the truth, August is 14 and Liam is 12. In two weeks I take Rayne, who is 10 and she also will have alot of questions. I had to answer their questions in the best way I knew how...so...we continued to sit and take in the situation. First: the family that texted continuously, while their son tried to get their attention. Then: the Grandma who probably wasn't much older than me,
So we sat. And sat. And sat. And I felt anger. I couldn't believe how unfair this office was to the underprivledged. I know the difference. My children know the difference. And it's all based on money, on insurance. I looked at the other kids here, thinking how unfair for them...just because they're
The nurse called us in. She led us to the first room on the right. The room with old striped pastel wallpaper and 1970's shag blue-green carpet.
While taking all this in, August is complaining about the situation and Liam is letting her know this is why he is sometimes embarrassed to be in public with her. I'm listening while watching the doctor walk up and down the hall, trying to get a feel on her. She looked about 60, probably Phillipino or something...I told August that this doctor probably feels like this is her life calling to help kids less fortunate. She retorted back that the doctor could be making different choices, she could be making more money. I told her it probably wasn't about money for this doctor. I didn't know the reason this doctor was choosing to work in a run-down office for little compared to other doctors...but I could only assume it was for a true calling--a good karma. Love. And then Liam threw in the fact one of his friends gets to go to the doctor for free because the parents are divorced and the dad owes $20,000 in child support. I explained this appointment was free also. I wanted to say it was free because I was a single mom, their dad lost his job, my library job keeps me at the poverty level, but I didn't. So during this mental pause, I realized they both asked, "It is?" And when I reassured them it was, suddenly their entire energy shifted, letting them be OK with the situation. Thankfully.
The doctor came in, introduced herself, and asked who was going first. Like most situations, August went first...first in birth order, first in school, first in life...and so she sat up on old childrens doctor table. Very old. And August had her physical. Then Liam. And by the end of the exams, both children were laughing with the doctor and the nurse--even after they each had to get two shots. The doctor had connected with my children in a way no other doctor had...even August commented, "Why doesn't our other doctor do all this?" Then I explained that when I was a little girl, doctors did do all the things this one did...they took care of their patients. Now, nurses do and doctors sign off on it, in general. And Liam said, "I like our other office better, but feel more comfortable here." Sigh.
The girls left this dingy doctors office laughing at their pained, shot-taken arms--