poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Catching up

Wow. Not that life's been that exciting, but I hardly know where to start since I've been on a slight time off with my blogging. 

I suppose it's easiest to start with the present: I'm officially car shopping.
Some people might find that exciting and I'm really really trying, but honestly all it does
is make me cringe and feel heavy footed.

Since my dissolution, I have basically been without a vehicle.  I have a Eurovan creating a lovely
rusty garden behind my garage, but it's been sitting for almost 2 years. I'd love to have it fixed,
but magical VW mechanics aren't anywhere to be found right now.  I have faith in it--but I'm not
putting it out there as much as I should.

So- that leaves me with the now.  My parents let me borrow their van a few years ago.
Yes, years. After my van died.  For a long time, I'd borrow--and return.  It got to the point my
mom just told me, if I need it --I'll let you know.  Still, I didn't drive alot--but with the girls
busy schedule, I drive more than I ever have.

Then a few weeks ago I mentioned to my dad about some lights coming on and the transmission
acting odd.  He took it in and SHABAM--the end of the van, but my lucky mom got herself a cute
new Jeep. 

And then there's me.
At first I felt truly down.
I remembered my own van not being maintained even with asking and pleading.
I felt what can only be resentment, that I must 'conform' somehow to own a car.
Own.
A.
Car.

I never have.

So--I'm trying to be happy.
And not too picky.
For someone who's never owned a car you'd think I'd be easy-peasy, but no--I've got some standards in
my mind that may or may not serve me.

So much more--but it may have to wait till tomorrow.
OM xo

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"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild
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