poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

What I am afraid of:

My biggest, darkest fear.
I've never seen a tornado.
Though when I was about 7 years old,  I do recall
looking out my childhood, frontroom window, knowing a tornado was heading our way.
The sky went green. My mom was standing beside me. 
I went into hysterics.
I don't remember anything after that.

Then my grandma--she loved to talk about the tornado she saw year, years ago.  
She would describe the sky.
The sounds.
Family hiding under tables.
I would sit on the edge of my seat in absolute fear, listening intensely to her yearly spring risen stories.
My mom, I'm sure had to cringe, wondering first off about the absolute validity--but then knowing I wouldn't be able to fall asleep for days.

I eventually created a way to be able to fall asleep...because I am visual, I have always "seen" things as I drift off into never-never land...but being that visual a child does not want to see their biggest fear--say like a tornado.  So-- I would fall asleep and have to picture this tornado off into the corner of this vision--super tiny, so that my other "story pictures" could take over and the little tornado would float away.


My fear is still very real, but I now have to be the mom and be semi-strong...but I do like to catch the occasion storm-chaser show--amazed at the fear-less-ness in those folks.

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