poetry. thoughts and more than make-believe.

Friday, July 09, 2010


That could be one word to describe me.  I don't like words to box in people and would never really call myself that, but I have been referred to be that and understand why people see me in that word.

I truly feel the joy in seeing myself as a free-spirit, but find that same term has been used against me in the past.  I'm sure there's been more than 3 times I've dealt with this fact, but I've heard it lately--and when you hear something more than once--whatever it is, I do think some great force is saying HEY PAY ATTENTION!!

So my 3 free-spirited comments lately...

1st--I called myself a free-spirit.  I was in a job interview where I was asked to describe myself as an alliteration. (Yes--this was an actual interview question)  The first word that pops out of my mouth--FREE SPIRIT.  Everyone around this panel interview nods in sweet agreement.  Living in a small town where I am kinda visual, these folks know me and understood this word placed on me.

I did not get the job.
I don't think it has anything to do with being free spirited, but I did use the word and it opened up this can of gummyworms in my head.

2nd..my BD and I were talking about various other partners.  I said I would get jealous (I can't recall what it was actually about) and he said he was surprised with my free-spirit attitude.  Slight manipulation.

3rd..my mom and I were in the car having a conversation about my brother and I with our kids.  Mom told me he thought I was too free spirited with my girls.  I actually don't think my brother said those exact words, but my moms thought on what he would say on our differences.  My mom went on to say she thought my girls will be better off learning who they are.

So...this leads me to now.

Why is it I feel being free-spirited is suddenly looked at as some horrible infection?

Just because I am free-spirited doesn't mean I don't know boundaries and have feelings of jealousy (at times but not often).  It doesn't mean I am not aware of how to handle myself in the work place or my children don't have rules to follow.  On the contrary I would say my free-spiritedness has allowed different rules to follow for my girls individually and know boundaries exist for a reason.

Is it people are so afraid of knowing who they are that my "something" freaks them out at times?  Is it the times of ultra-conservative fear flooding our subconscience?

I don't know.
I do know I am proud of this word though.
Whatever it may mean to the general public.




ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

don't change a thing. i love your 'something'. and the sailor could not say enough about good about your girls. whatever you're doing, don't stop. love you!

(and that was a crazy interview question)

Alexandra Alvarez said...

being free-spirited is a amazing character trait. you should be extremely proud of that :)

Jamone1230 said...

what is bd? baby daddy?

Not Emily said...

Thanks Alexandra:)

And Jamone 1230--BD is big daddy...a nick name for my BF :))

A.Marie said...

this just lets me know i'm not the only one getting weird looks form other people. But really this is very nice and makes you question why people feel the need to judge. =]]

"Happiness is only real when shared".....from Into the Wild

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