Fate

You either believe in fate.
or you don't.
Or you fall somewhere in the middle...
not knowing whether it's possible because if you do believe-- well, then is everything predestined? Or just the big things?  Or what???






Once upon a time or 16 years ago I met my former husband.
I don't like the word ex:
Sounds so death-like ...
So--I met my FORMER husband and without sounding wistful,
it was fateful.
I was 22, getting ready to graduate from college and living the urban fun life.
I wasn't into dating.
I was into dancing and drinking with my friends.
I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship a year before and spent a good year doing whatever my heart desired.
Then I met my former.
He asked me out.
I said no.
He asked me out for another night.
I said yes.
September 22, 1994.
Listening to music and drinking beer.

September 22, 1995.
A year of dating... I got him an anniversary gift...he said, "it's not like a real annivesary" and we laughed about it--and I didn't let him forget it.

September 22, 1996.
He proposed.  Our first baby girl was 4 months old.  He told me..."now it'll be a real anniversary" and we laughed...and cried.

Then life happened for many years and like how many couples..I hate to even think about myself being yet another statistic...we separated 1 1/2 years ago with 3 girls, amicable. 

This past week I received the court date for our dissolution.

September 22, 2010.

And I cried.
Cried because my dream of whatever family I had created had been altered, but also because of the
FATE of this date.
I felt/feel there was/is a reason.
It's poetic, as Tammie would say...and I see that sometimes it's ok to believe in fate--even if you don't what that actually means.

Comments

i cried for you too. it's bittersweet, more sweet than bitter . . .
The Boy said…
Thinking of you at this time! I find it amazing how life or fate can bring things round so in such a cyclical manner. Hope you begin to smile again soon.
thanks for always being the best BFF..

Theboy--thank you..thankfully I'm at a great place with it all and smiling-- just the moment made me pause. Part of growing I suppose. :)
This is beautiful, and makes me want to cry.

Time for the new chapter. Can't wait to read it. :)
zeledaki said…
Life makes circles...there are times that we cry and times thst we laugh...be patient and strong for your children and you'll laugh again soon!
Hiphophippie--new chapters everyday begging to be written:)))thanks!

zeladaki--i think life is circular, so that's the joy, fate and tears to it. life's all good though:)) thx
HoshiMaru said…
I cried. Because, this reminds me of how life kind of really sucks. Cause it makes me want to make my own fate. Hope you pull through mostly intact.
HoshiMaru--life can be hard at times, but there's so many plus's along the way. As much as I believe in fate, i believe we can make choices to help our fate along to the life we want/need. Hang in there--

RC--thank you very much! I think you may be my first non-english written response...have a good day

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